Why I Cheated On My Husband
The
first question that comes to mind when a spouse cheats is: Why? A
recent study by the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, attempted
to answer that question and found that the reasons behind infidelity
differ greatly between the sexes. For men, it's typically about the
sex—the more sexually excitable they are, the more likely they are to
cheat. For women, it's more about the level of satisfaction in her
relationship; if a woman is unhappy in her marriage, she's 2.6 times
more likely to cheat. Regardless of the reason, there's one thing that's
certain: infidelity is devastating. But there can be a silver lining.
"In many cases, it forces issues to the surface of a relationship that
would have never otherwise been dealt with," says Kevin Hansen, author
of Secret Regrets: What if You Had a Second Chance? Read
on to discover what life lessons these five women gained through their
personal experiences with infidelity—and what you can learn from their
stories.
RELATED: 10 Surprising Traits Men Who Cheat Have in Common
"MY HUSBAND WAS ABUSIVE."
"From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake," says
50-year-old Elizabeth Smith.* "He was abusive, controlling and expected
me to quit my job to make a home for him." A little over a year into the
marriage, she began having an affair with a man that she worked with.
"I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be
with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and
respected me for who I was—not who he wanted me to be," she says. "The
affair helped me find myself and proved to me that I could live a life
independent of my husband. It also gave me the courage to ask for a
divorce. Twenty-five years later, I'm married to a wonderful man. We
love making each other happy, and never try to change who the other
person is," she says.
What You Can Learn: While
the confidence gained from the affair may have given her the spark she
needed to get out of a bad relationship, New York City psychologist
Michael E. Silverman, PhD, says if you're in an abusive relationship,
deception isn't the best way to deal with it. Get help first from a
trusted friend, family member, therapist or one of the numerous
nationwide resources instead.
